TIVOLI JENSEN

Sometimes, as I go through my days, I forget to not look at my feet.

I don’t know quite what it is, maybe the post-graduating exhaustion, the three-year-old adventuring, or the book editing sprints, but I’ve noticed that I keep my head down.  And, in noticing that my head was down all the time, I decided to look up.  To notice things, and people.  To step in, to lean in.

But, you see, looking up is difficult.  When you look up, people can look at you.   Often, I’m so tired that I don’t want to smile at a stranger, or tango with frogs, or write an entire novel in a day or any of that other perfect mom/person/writer stuff.  I can try, though.  I can really try.

So, by making this decision to be present in life, I, of course, started by opening up Facebook on my phone and scrolling.  And one of my oldest and favorite-est friends said something that changed everything.

Simply talk like everyone is a fellow warrior. 

The secret to life.  In a simple sentence.

Because, simply, aren’t we all warriors?  Are we not all battling a thousand things a day?  Or a thousand things in the span of an hour?

In looking up, I found this to be true.  I saw people, and I saw people.

The fellow mom whose daughter won’t listen as she’s trying to control the tears forming in her eyes.
The man standing in line before me who got rejected to another job.
The wife whose disease is getting worse.
The husband who can’t seem to make ends meet.
The student who is forever overwhelmed by the demands of a system that did not plan for her.
The friend who tries to be present, but can’t seem to find a way to relate anymore.
The sister who looks at her food as an enemy, rather than nourishment.
The classmate who was told he should just kill himself.
The teacher whose marriage is falling apart.
The person who is fighting a war.

I think, in life, we often get into the habit of one-ness– of competing for first prize, of being the one with the perfect family, the one with the best house, the well-behaved kids, the best job, the most money.  There’s competition at every turn, there’s shaming of every form.

But, why?

Why must anyone be my foe, if they could be my ally?  Why must I worry about the opinion of he who could be my friend?

Because everyone is in a battle, and everyone is a warrior.

I will treat everyone like a fellow warrior.

I will be kind.  I will not compare.  I will be patient.  I will not judge.  I will cheer on the wins, I will mourn the losses.  I will battle beside, I will pace my steps to theirs.

It’s simple, really.

There are people out there, right now, hurting and alone.  When we look up, we see them.  We see she who has no plans again, we see he who can’t seem to make any conversation go smoothly. And we see those who have fallen behind and just need someone to help them stand up.

Because everyone is your fellow warrior, working to reach the end in a glorious victory, rather than a crushing defeat.

I’m looking up.  I’m looking for those who need a door opened, or a smile given, or a favor done.  I’m looking up, because I want others to look up for me.

You, dear friend, are a fellow warrior. And I ask you to not give up, to keep fighting, and to win this with me.